TIP ONE: STOP WATCHING PORN Honestly the first week or so is the hardest and by just looking at porn it makes it very easy to relapse. If you’re 100% serious about NoFap, block porn access and reward yourself for not looking at porn.Find role models.There may be people in your life who you want to emulate, maybe not completely, but you admire them for certain qualities. Why can’t you adopt these? You can! If you don’t have any role models in your immediate social circle, there are plenty of historical figures to choose from, not to mention current leaders. Everyone started somewhere, you can do it too. For example, Steve Jobs arguably changed the world with the iPhone – his background was not glamorous. If he can do it, so can you.Don’t give up – this is a willpower challenge. It definitely got hard for me at times. Sometimes it was a real struggle to resist – I went through serious mood swings. I learned that we live in a hyper-sexualized society and sex is everywhere. It’s in TV ads, movies, video games, magazines and even the news – more explicitly than ever before, and there’s a lot of misinformation out there. You need to stand strong and do what’s right for you.
TIP TWO: Find a replacement – have something that you can easily do whenever you think about fapping to keep your mind off of it. As I have said, the first week or so is the hardest. You’re an addict coming off your dope – don’t get obsessed with tips, tricks, and ways to make it easy. You are going to have to go into the furnace of transformation, and let me tell you that you will suffer. Nothing worth having comes easy – but it is worth it, so suffer on. The greatest benefit of nofap is feeling like a man. Well to get there, you first have to realize how much of a boy you are. Nofap will take the blinders off of the fantasy world you’ve been living in. You will confront yourself. I was emotional because I also started craving relationship. PMO numbs our inherent need for relationship with cheap stimulation. You will feel that crave strongly, and it will make you emotional. After about 3 weeks or so it’s easier to say no to the urges. However, after a few weeks, you may go into a flat line. This is ANY negative symptom associated with the removal and recovery from pornography addiction.
HERE ARE SOME FLATLINE SYMPTOMS:
- Brain fog
- Feelings of loneliness
- Feelings of restlessness
- Feelings of hopelessness
- Feelings of depression
- Low libido (low sexual desire)
- PIED (Porn-induced erectile dysfunction)
- Suicidal thoughts
- Muscle weakness
- Strong urges: this can be positive but mostly are negative such as the over-use of alcohol or feeling the need to take street drugs.
After 2/3s of the way in, you will feel the fuller effects of NoFap:
- Mental gains
- more confidence and self-control
- increased motivation
- stronger life force
- better memory, concentration, and overall cognitive function
- greater vitality
- Physical gains
- increased muscle growth
- better overall happiness
- thicker hair, deeper voice
- Spiritual gains
- improved sperm quality
- less anxiety and depression
- deeper and better relationships
TIP THREE: Tell your friends or don’t – it depends on your relationship with them. For some, don’t tell your friends unless you want to be taken the piss out of and for others, it is very comfortable to share their thoughts, feelings, vulnerabilities and fears with their friends. It all depends on your current relationship dynamic with the people you call your friend(s) – for some, they can’t tell their friends because they will be the current running joke for a while and for others, they seek comfort and solace in their friends and can tell them anything.
TIP FOUR: Have your reasoning for quitting PMO. Whether this is for the super powers, to cure a fetish or anything in-between. Think about your reason whenever you feel like relapsing.
TIP FIVE: Try challenges with your friends that are practicing NoFap. See if you both can go as long as possible without fapping. This kind of positive motivation with someone you know and trust going through the same adversities with you can be very re-assuring. Plus, read, read and read. Find all the information you can about NoFap as possible. Use your free time wisely and look for articles that can motivate you – even try watching YouTube, there are a tonne of materials online and on YouTube about fapstinence and even semen retention.
TIP SIX: Improve your health by working out, changing your diet for the better and changing your mental mindset towards life in general. There is no better thing than a healthy body – improve your mind through diet and exercise.
Don’t focus yourself on not PMOing. Instead, turn your focus to things you enjoy, especially things that make you feel more alive (note that I am not talking about TV/videogames here; I’m talking about doing things that scare you but at the same time thrill you, things that light up your eyes, etc. Find these activities, and you’ll never want to go back). If you can have a reason to quit PMO – if you can show yourself glimpses of the life that you could have without it – you will find it much easier to quit than if your only motivation is to escape pain. Just take your life a day at a time, and one day you’ll wake up to 90 days.
Don’t be hard on yourself. That only makes it harder. I’m not saying that you should be okay with relapsing, but be gentle. Breaking an addiction is difficult, and it’s amazing that you’re trying. One of my favorite quotes: “Look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before.”
The hardest part is the first two weeks after a relapse. If you can get past that, it mostly becomes a situation of not exposing yourself to triggers. And over time, those triggers will lose their potency, so don’t despair. Every day that you’re clean you’re rewiring your brain and making it easier for you to reach 90.
Quitting PMO is a great start. I even think that for many people it’s a necessary one. But that isn’t enough. To use an analogy, quitting PMO is like showing up at the marathon of life: congratulations, you had the balls to show up. But you won’t get anywhere if you don’t run. If you’re quitting PMO but maintaining your current lifestyle (assuming that you don’t like your current lifestyle) I think that you’ve missed the point. Cutting the dopamine hits from porn and other distractions forces you to go out into the world to find those hits.
To you, whoever you may be. I promise you that you are so much more than you think you are capable of. Crawl out of the darkness, inch by inch if you have to. The NoFap journey doesn’t stop after 90 days, it just continues on in a different shape. If you never stop taking it, I think that you’ll find that you’ll have lived a such a life that, when you die, you’ll die with a smile on your face.